Tell the People What They've Won, Johnny

(No need to solve the Monty Hall Problem)

From a Google Image Search - NY Daily News

It doesn't matter which door you pick, folks. The prizes are all the same. This prize package begins with one orangey fellow, a sex offender, a con artist, an oath breaker, and a clever thief with a giant ego and, apparently, very small appendages. News sources say that Melania has him on a diet, but one word might come to mind: Ozempic (just a guess).

This fellow will dismantle your democracy/republic for you. He wants to rebuild it, but it will be a very skimpy operation indeed, and our union will be dissolved into a loose affiliation of states.

We have a new group of founding fathers, replacing the originals. Trump has taken on the role of George Washington. He is picking loyalists to man agencies that he intends to downsize, to send to the states, or to close altogether. He has given both the winners and the losers people to run our country who know nothing about the agencies and departments they will head so that you can get the full Trump experience. These people will rubber-stamp whatever Trump wants, or they will be gone.

News sources insist that Trump intends to put his people through the confirmation process as tradition dictates, but your prize, Trump, wants to go around this process by getting Congress to go into recess, thus allowing him to gift himself (and us, of course) with his posse of the unqualified without any confirmation process. This is a real prize to all who find democracy too complex, argumentative, and time-consuming. Instead, the nation will have one "Daddy" to make all those pesky decisions for us.

You won these ersatz founders who will turn the Executive Branch of our democracy/republic into the domain of our dictator, or king (a title Donald really aspires to).

From a Google Image Search - The Fence Post (Matt Gaetz is out, Pam Bondi is in for AG.)

You get to keep a Supreme Court that is also designed (by The Federalist Society) to rubber-stamp Trump's agenda.

You get a slew of new billionaires or richer billionaires from new Trump tax cuts and employer/founder stock buybacks. You get no regulations on employers, so you can be fired at will. All protections for labor, such as labor unions, laws about hours and wages, worker safety, and anti-discrimination laws, will be gone.

You get a President for Life, who defies term limits and the peaceful transfer of power.

You (in fact we) get tariffs to end competition with cheap Chinese products (mainly China, but less expensive products from any nation) which will raise prices for American consumers (increase inflation).

We get a billionaire "genius" born in South Africa who will find creative ways to slash $2T from the federal budget, which sounds like a valuable prize until you realize that all the cuts will leave "winners" (and losers) with no social safety net. In today’s news, the figure has been downsized to an initial $500b.

You also win a front-row seat as our soldiers (who are not intended for domestic use) round up "illegal" immigrants to deport. We may all have to carry identity papers to show on demand (something that will help us remember what it was like for Berliners to live behind the Berlin Wall). If you are on a Trump enemies list, you could get rounded up for a "vacation" in a federal facility.

So, to sum up (although not necessarily a comprehensive description of all the prizes you have won), you get new founders, the final demise of our Constitutional Republic (you'll love our new allies), rubber-stamp, bobble-head cabinet and agency leaders (who will have their bobble heads cut off if they try to buck Trump), lower pay, no annoying applications for benefits, higher prices (it will be so patriotic, not inflation at all). You get to learn who the real Americans are (Steven Miller oversees that). And we get a King, an elderly orange king.

From a Google Image Search - Salon.com

We're sorry if you won and you're a woman, you get nothing except to be barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen. If you have passed your childbearing years you get to be a caregiver, lucky you. If you are female and a billionaire, you will be an honorary male (not to be mistaken for a trans male).

Welcome to my new followers.